Puppy Love

For the last three nights I have only been able to doze into a light sleep because I am waiting. I am waiting for just the right combination of sounds to tip me off that it is time to run into Nathan's room and coax his rag-doll body out of bed or at least point him toward the edge before he throws up. The covers rustle, a little moan and "Mooooommmmy," I am off! Since the particular bug that Nathan caught only makes him throw up at night, I now know that throwing up in a bed requires a lot of clean up. There's the jammies, the sheets, the mattress cover, the pillow cases, the pillows, the blankie and then there is Puppy.

The first 2 nights, Puppy managed to stay tucked under the covers and was shielded from the stinky spray. But last night, Puppy was comforting Nathan during the throwing up and he had the goopy spots to show for it. After Nathan was cleaned up, the floor was sprayed and wiped, the new sheets and jammies were on and the dirty stuff was rinsed and in the washing machine... I tucked Little Man in again.

I was just walking out of his room when Nathan's head popped up, "Where's Puppy?" I barely got to start explaining that Puppy was taking a bath in the washing machine when a long, painful cry came out of a wide open mouth. Nathan was devastated. I gave him a polar bear to keep him company, which seemed to make the crying worse at first, and then just had to leave while he cried in bed. Nothing was consoling him. Three times that night he made a run for the washing machine. The first run was a direct bolt toward the washing machine. He ran with the determined gait of one who is ready to storm the prison despite the odds of a successful jailbreak. The second seemed to be a repeat play, perhaps to demonstrate to his parents how desperately he needed Puppy. The third run came later, after he had probably been asleep for a little while. The buzzer for the dryer went off and Nathan must have thought it was the buzzer for the washer. He seemed to be running toward Puppy before he was fully awake yelling "It's finished." In his sleepy fog, he didn't understand his dad's explanation of the buzzers or why he couldn't have Puppy yet. He was just upset.

A small part of me wondered if this dramatic nighttime incident had been a cranky result of an unhappy night and not actually about his attachment to Puppy. After all, Puppy spends most of the day wherever he was tossed to the side after his morning snuggle. There had even been sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa's house where we forgot Puppy and Nathan took it all in stride without much fuss. But first thing the next morning, Nathan made a sleepy B-line to the washer and asked to have Puppy. He spent the morning rocking Puppy in his arms, whispering lullabies and other inaudible soft sounds. He seemed genuinely relieved to be holding Puppy again.

While Puppy is sometimes left unnoticed between naptime and bedtime, I can see that he does play an important role in Nathan's world. He's part of his routine, part of his stability, a faithful friend. When life gets hard or change is scary, its really nice to have a buddy who you can count on to be there with you. When Nathan's sister moved into his room, he started preschool, his teeth hurt or his tummy ached... Puppy was always there to be hugged.

Nathan recently told me that Puppy can't play fetch.
"Why?" I asked.
"He doesn't have a mouth." He explained.
"Where's his mouth?" I asked.
"I hugged him too much."